Trauma is officially defined objectively by certain types of events, such as war. However, many therapists like to think of trauma subjectively, in terms of how any event affects a person on the inside. If it is traumatic, if it causes trauma responses, it is trauma.
Some people criticize the overuse of the word trauma, that is, they object to the word being used subjectively. I support the subjective definition because it validates all trauma responses without comparing which trauma is worse. It does not invalidate certain responses as oversensitive reactions and not real trauma responses. I don’t care how big the rock is that hit you. If it hit you in the wrong place in the wrong way, perhaps with repeated exposure, a small pebble can be just as disabling or deadly as a large boulder. It is what it does to you that matters.
In that context, I have ventured a category I am calling “autistic trauma,” because these events can be just as disabling or deadly as objectively defined trauma. It causes trauma responses just the same. Day in and day out, autistic persons are told to ignore their own feelings, thoughts, sensitivities, overwhelm, need for completion and precision, in favor of performing SOMEONE ELSE’S desired behavior on their timetable. It can be hard for some people to understand how chronic exposure to pleasing other people and denying oneself is traumatic. For autistics, it can result in trauma responses such as intrusive memories, avoidance of reminders, negative beliefs about self, heightened reactivity, anxiety, depression, self-harm, suicidal behaviors, compliance with abusive relationships, dissociation, depersonalization, and derealization.
Most therapists, parents, teachers, and service providers are not even aware that autistics can have trauma responses to what they see as everyday stressors. I use the term “autistic trauma” to emphasize awareness of possible trauma responses and curiosity about the demands and expectations that may cause them.
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