Identifying as Autistic

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I have heard multiple allistic service providers say that when you are older, getting diagnosed with autism doesn’t make a difference. You are too old for early intervention services to help shape you into what is expected of you. Expectations from work or spouses or friends or therapists aren’t going to change–you still need to meet them to live in this world. So what if you are a square peg? You still need to fit into round holes–said by people who have never been square pegs.

This is my new favorite quotation from author Paul Collins.

“Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work.

It’s that you’re destroying the peg.”

Identifying as autistic is important so you can stop destroying the peg.

The most frequent question I get asked is, “Am I autistic?” The formal autism evaluation process requires careful consideration of a lot of different factors, including intellectual ability, childhood presentation, trauma history, ADHD, OCD, substance use, behaviors with different neurotypes and in different environments, etc. A formal identification may open the door for services and accommodations.

However, if you just want to know if this is your brain style and neurotype, and if autism can explain all the questions you’ve had about yourself, no one knows you better than you do. You can self-identify the way your brain works. The descriptions below can give you an idea of what to look for.

To summarize what one does after identifying as autistic, I will say this:

Develop a relationship with yourself, where you are highly attuned to your body sensations, emotions, and instincts–so you can be responsive to those signals and nurture yourself before you break. Think of the “horse whisperer,” where you are the horse. Leave behind the lifestyle of beating the horse to meet expectations, and be attuned to your horse instead.

Guess what? Turns out this method is good for round pegs as well.